When you hurt, I hurt too

I had all these thoughts rambling around in my head and wanted to get them out. Now I can’t form a sentence.

I guess I have questions.

Lots of questions.

Why do you go back to the pit when you’ve seen the LIGHT? I get that it’s comfortable, a place you’re familiar with. You’ve spent so much time there. But why is it so easy to go back to that place and dwell there?

Why do you not fight? It’s so easy for you to give up. And don’t tell me you’ve been through crap and back, because I KNOW THAT! I just want you to speak up to those that are doing wrong and stand up for yourself. And maybe even realize everyone goes through their own kind of crap, some of which is far worse than what you do.

Why do you call me to vent about someone yelling at you, that you’re not going to be yelled at again today, and end up yelling at me. How is that right? Why do you not see that? Do you wonder if, or when I will be done?

How can you not see the effects of your attitude? It’s like a riptide that carries everyone out to sea and underwater. It’s not just you.

Why do you shut me out and push me away? You close yourself off to anyone who wants to help. You withdraw when you need to reach out.

Why do you think so little of yourself? You are a child of God, created in His own image. He loves you and He has great plans for you. Believe His promises. Rebuke satan.

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

So what do people get in this life for all their hard work and anxiety? Their days of labor are filled with pain and grief; even at night their minds cannot rest. It is all meaningless. Ecclesiastes 2:22

When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. Psalm 91:15

For He loves us with unfailing love; the Lord’s faithfulness endures forever. Praise the Lord! Psalm 117:2

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. Romans 8:35-38

Why not pick up the ball and take a step forward? I’m still here, waiting

Dogs and Kids

I have three kids, ages 15, 13, and a fresh 8 year old. We have 4 chihuahuas, 3 female and 1 male, and a chocolate lab female that will be a year old in December. She will be the death of me. Her or the teenagers. Mark my words.

Recently a friend was talking about a store that I have never been in. They said I should go, it’s a home interiors/decorative kind of place, and they have gotten some nice things in there.

I don’t decorate my house. I have dogs and kids.

Dogs and kids tear nice things up.

Why waste the money on new furniture when the kids will spill something on it, or stand on the cushions and rip the pillows off the back of the seat, or the dog will eat it?

Dare I ask?

I have kids that leave their empty water bottle, or nearly empty, and the dogs think it is the greatest chew toy. Even though there may be 50 assorted rawhides and chew toys laying around.

I’ll have nice things when the kids move out, and the dogs move on. Until then, I’ll come to your house. Or we’ll meet at Starbucks if you have dogs and kids.

Fireworks

I used to love fireworks.
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Somewhere between my 20’s and late 30’s, I’ve discovered that I like them only on my terms.image

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I’m learning things about myself.image

I’m slow in hitting the camera button on my non Iphone…image

That’s an inside joke meant for the other members of my family who actually own an Iphone.

Fireworks are still beautiful and fun to watch because my kids get all excited to participate in the festivities, but the mosquitoes are vicious! They totally ran me into the house and ended our night early. Those blood sucking pests. If it weren’t for the kids, I would be happy to sit in my living room and watch the neighbors play with fire. I hope they will remember that when they are pondering the nursing home for me.
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Dr. Phil

I don’t normally watch Dr Phil, but I turned on the tv and that’s what was on.  It’s all about Teens engaging in outragous trends.  The first thing I saw was a boy who had 48,000 text messages in a month.  My question is, when can he find this much time???  Whatever.

Now they’re interviewing the parents of a 12 year old girl who has been “sexting”.  Sending very inappropriate photos of herself, and lewd texts as well.  Now this exact thing has happened with one of the girls that I spoke of in my post crying and curfews.  My initial thought was to keep Brooke away from her, then I decided that I pray for Godly friends for Brooke, and maybe she is supposed to be the Godly influence for this girl.  After watching this, and what happened this weekend, I am deciding that my daughter is not going to be put at risk by me to provide a good girl experience for someone else.  I cannot allow it.  Brooke is not strong enough right now to stand up for herself. 

What is going on in this world???  satan, you will not win!  You may have reign over this earth right now, but you will not win.  Jesus will!

crying and curfews

I have a 12 year old who thinks she’s 20.  Apparently this is a problem amongst many of her friends.  Friday, Brooke and 3 of her friends wanted to go to the movies.  I checked the listing, and the PG movie they wanted to see was on at 7:15 pm.  No problem!  Now there was an incident in the past where these kids were dropped off at the movies with no parental supervision, and trouble ensued.  Brian and I had discussed that this would not happen again.  A chaperone must always attend with them. 

Brooke calls me and tells me they have decided to go to the 9:45 showing, and I promptly tell her no.  The movie was and hour and a half, so that would mean being out until 11:30, and I am not OK with that.  She started giving me attitude, and I reminded her that she is 12, and I didn’t have that late of a curfew until I was a junior in high school.  (Thanks Mom for telling me I was actually a Senior!)  Well, she hung up on me, then called me back and told me they would go to the earlier show.  I said OK, and that I would take them and stay.  That didn’t go over well with her, as everyone gets dropped off.  everyone!!!  Again, I had to remind her of the last time that happened, and if she wanted to go, this was the only option.  She was not happy with me, there were tears, and the silent treatment.  She was embarassed, and it didn’t help that one of her friends was teasing her for me going along. 

When we arrived at the theater, the movie they wanted to see was sold out.  We ended up watching Marley and Me, which is a good movie, but I think it should be PG 13!  Before we sat down, me in the front, them in the back, Brooke told me they were gonna stay for the 9:45 showing too.  I said NO.  Tears again…..

When Marley and Me was over, I walked out and called one of the parents to let them know what was going on and see how they felt about staying.  They were fine with their child staying unsupervised and being out until 11:30, so Brooke and I left.  Brooke felt so bad about the way she had behaved, so she was crying again and apologizing to me.  I was hurt and angry at the same time.  Why does my child get teased because I love her and am trying to protect her???  Why are parents allowing this?  The theater was over run with middle schoolers, and there were no parents.  I just don’t understand it.  If you need a break, hire a babysitter for your kids.  Don’t just drop them off at the mall or movies and let them be a nuisance to others.  These kids are too young to be responsible and mature at all times. 

I had to tell Brooke not to ask me to do something with these kids again.  They cannot be trusted, and peer pressure is too easy to cave in to.  I’m probably going to lose a friend over this too, but my daughter is more important to me.

School Supplies

The majority of our afternoon was spent between Office Depot and Wal-Mart for back to school shopping.  We went with lists in hand that were supplied by each school, and were checking things off as we went along.  Office Depot had folders for $0.05 each, so we scored big with those.  Paper Mate 10 packs of pens were $0.25, so we bought 4 packs.  Of course the pencils that were on sale were not pretty enough for Brooke, so we had to get the decorative mechanical ones that were, like, $6.00.  All in all, and don’t tell Brian, we spent over $300 today on backpacks and stuff to go in them.  I honestly don’t understand why the school system cannot supply some paper, pencils, erasers, and folders.  I’m not saying the teachers should.  I’m saying the school system.  Don’t we pay enough taxes for a little school supplies?  And what’s with the 3 large boxes of Kleenex?  What’s next, a family size pack of toilet paper? 

The whole thing stresses me out.  As we were walking through one store, Brooke asked me why my neck was red.  I told her because stress makes me break out in hives! 

Tomorrow we have the nightmare of registration, where there will be 10 different stations to write separate checks, wait in long lines, and have school pictures taken.  Then we’ll go do it all over again at Brooke’s school.  AAaahh, school is bliss.

Matthew was so cute today.  He wants to/doesn’t want to/isn’t old enough to go to Kindergarten.  He misses the birthday cut off, which doesn’t upset me at all.  I will love to have him home with me for another year!  But he wanted to get some things too, so I told him he’s in Pre-K homeschool, and we picked out a couple of workbooks and colored pencils for them.  He also wanted his very own art box and back pack to keep it all in.  I did manage to talk him out of the lunch box, but I’m toast if they don’t have that particular one next year! 

Lord, please grant me with patience and knowledge when it comes to our Pre-K homeschool experience.  I have a feeling my limits are gonna be tested!

angst

This is the reason for my despair.  A giant pimple has taken up residence on my face, just below my lips.  Trust me when I say mine is much worse than this photo, because I’ve been using something to hurry the process along.  This cream seems to have made the zit glow and grow! 

My kids are staring at it, and Matthew wants to touch it.  Brooke and Zach want me to pop it so they don’t have to look at it.  I actually put my finger over it to spare my neighbor when she came to pick Zach up.  I thought I was done with this years ago!

Oh what a night

Be forewarned, if you don’t want to read a bunch of ramblings, move on.

I couldn’t carry on a conversation with Brooke after school today, because she and her boyfriend were continually texting one another.  Note to self—read her texts before she deletes them!

She wouldn’t do her homework before dance.  She said there was plenty of time afterwards.  We dropped her off and then ran to Target.  I’ve totally sort of over committed myself with a few projects.  I’m making teacher scrapbooks for teacher appreciation week, letters for a sign for an anniversary party, and something (100 somethings) that talks about World Vision and the girl sponsored by IAX.  I need paper for all of these things, and it would seem that I’m all out.  Zach needs shorts too, Brooke wants cookie dough, and Matthew just had a bad case of the wants.  Everything he saw, he wanted.  After a long and stressful time shopping, we went to pick up some Taco Bell.  Everyone else had that idea too.  There were 8 cars in front of us.  EIGHT. 

Oh, and that homework.  Yeah, I had to help with it.  What upsets me is that it was coloring, cutting and pasting.  Isn’t that what Kindergarteners do, not middle schoolers?  Maybe I’m wrong…
Anyway, it was over an hour past bedtime when this was completed.  I tucked her in and thought it was time to get busy on those projects.  She then came out of her room, grabs my cell phone and proceeds to call hers.  Then she picks hers up out of the chair and starts to go to her room.  I said she needed to put the phone up in her bag, and go to bed, because it was too late to be texting.  I’ll spare the details, but I’m a mean mom, and most of her friends don’t even have a bedtime.  I pray that in 15 years she’ll like me.  Did I mention that Brian is out of town and I’m single parenting?  Maybe that’s why I’m stressed. 

It’s also election day here, and quite frankly I’m sick to death of hearing all of the muck these candidates have to say. 

It’s snowing

It started about two hours ago, right as we had to go pick up Brooke from school.  Snow and freezing rain!  I was going through the intersection and someone, a dark haired lady in a maroon altima with license plate #575* to be exact, ran through her red light and came right at me into my lane of traffic.  Did I mention the snow and freezing rain?  Yeah, not a good mix.  Tires screeching, me swerving into the other lane to avoid her, and only the hand of God was in between us.  Then she sped off, leaving me in shock that we actually didn’t hit.  Thank You Lord for saving us!

Random thoughts

Tuesday night and Wednesday morning we were pelted with freezing rain and ice, so we had hoped for a 2 hour delay in school, but no such luck.  I just have a problem with scraping the ice off of my car, while little pellets of ice hit me in the head, to drive my kids to school.  Apparently the school board isn’t as concerned as I am.  It wasn’t better at the end of the day picking them up either because it had continued to sleet most of the day.  I took a few pictures to share with you, and obviously that didn’t happen. 

Yesterday was Valentine’s day.  I hope everyone had a great one, and felt totally loved.  I fixed a great meal for everyone, and even dessert that was red to match the theme.  It was the best meal I’ve made since Thanksgiving, and it was a whole lot less work.  That made it even better!  It was pork tenderloin and roasted veggies, angel food cake with strawberries, glaze and whipped topping.  Again, I took pictures to post, and it hasn’t happened. 

Today Brian and Brooke are together on a ski trip (a school field trip).  This was one event that I passed on to Dad to do, as I really didn’t want to be in traction for the next 6 weeks!  Field trips sure have changed since I was a kid! 

I talked to Brian earlier and they both still had all bones intact.  He was on the lift watching Brooke go down.  I’m sad sitting here knowing that I’m missing such a big event with her!  I took a picture this morning, and sent the camera with instructions for them to take lots, LOTS of pictures.  (Do you see a theme here with pictures?  I’m starting to think I should change the title of this post to something like, ” I took pictures but didn’t post them!)  Well, I can just imagine her and all her friends laughing ang having  a blast together.  She deserves it too.  I’ve been a little worried about her.  She’s been complaining of a headache and stomachache a lot lately, and I’ve been trying to get out of her what’s bothering her.  The typical pre-teen, she likes to keep things to herself.  She told me that she’s being bullied by someone at school, someone who we’ve had problems with in the past.  It hurts me to think about the pain she’s felt, and kept it to herself because she knew I would call the school to try and fix it, but then she would be a tattletale.  Brian and I both talked to her, and yesterday she nicely asked the girl to stop.  We’ll see what happens next.  I’m praying about it. 

That’s about all the random thoughts I have for now.  Maybe I’ll post some pictures soon…. 

Finally

Today was the first day of Christmas vacation.  I’ve been looking forward to this day for a few weeks now, but I spent it moving furniture and shampooing carpets.  We had some new furniture delivered, and I’m sitting in the most comfortable chair right now, I could almost go to sleep.  My house is still in disarray, but this room is peaceful.  I don’t want to leave it. 

I can’t believe Christmas is in 4 days.  I haven’t wrapped any presents yet, so I feel an all nighter on Christmas Eve coming on.  I hate to wrap presents because it seems like such a waste!  Matthew is really excited this year about Santa, and we’ve been reading about the manger in several stories at bedtime.  He has his own nativity set to play with, and I think he is understanding even more.  We’ve been trying to do the Advent readings, but with all of us not home at the same time, it’s been more of a challenge than I’d like. 

I’m tired so signing off for now.

Christmas invites

One more example of bad perfectionism. 

I was asked to make 90 invitations to a Christmas open house where my daughter dances.  When asked, I was buttered up with, “I looked at some stores, but thought you could do something nice and crafty.”  OK, no pressure.  For literally 2 days I worked on those things.  It took me awhile, (techie challenged), to copy and paste the text onto a page, and figure out what size, what graphics, etc.  Then I couldn’t print them out on plain paper, so I copied/scanned some Christmas paper that I had laying around.  Then I needed to print those off first.  I ran out of colored ink very quickly.  At one point I said something like “it would have been easier to just go to my friendly UPS store and have them do this for me”, but I didn’t listen.  I finally got them printed, and this was the same day as the crash, so I was stressed anyway.  Once printed, I needed to EMBELLISH.  Don’t you just love that word?  I thought I did better this year, because I didn’t put much emphasis on every invite being different from the others.  I had 5 or 6 different scanned papers, and a big Christmas tree die cut on each one.  I alternated, and half of them had the tree on the front, and the other half had the tree on the inside.  The ones with the trees on the inside had stickers or something on the outside.  Did I say I worked on these mostly all day?  Then I went to get some more printer ink, stickers, glitter glue, rubber stamps…… and came home, put the kids in bed at 9:00, and sat back down to finish.  I did that at 4:46 AM.  Wow, I was tired when I got up at 6:30, after hitting the snooze button 3 times!  I had laid them out for the glue to dry, and decided that the ones without a tree on the front looked too plain.  So 4 hours later, I had them finished again, with even more glitter glue.  Why do I do this to myself?  A simple project turned into a nightmare!  But they were reeeaaallllyyyy  CUTE! 

Perfectionism

I’ve never really thought of myself as a perfectionist, but recently learned that it’s true.  I guess I alway thought it was a good thing, and a perfectionist was organized and put together in all aspect of life.  And some are, just not me.  See, I suffer from perfectionism.  It’s not a good thing.  I can take one small task, and blow it up to Titanic size, then stress over it while making it worse.  One example would be this organizing frenzy I’ve been on.  I got started with Flylady, and absolutely loved it.  She helped me to get my kitchen cleaned out and semi organized, (I say that because I just last weekend went back through the panty, cleaned and labeled shelves.)and has given me some great tips.  That’s also where I’ve self diagnosed myself as a perfectionist.  It’s very hard for me to start a task, because the pre planning is overwhelming.  I need to map it out on paper or in my head until completion, because when I start to work on it, I won’t stop until it’s finished.  No wonder I get overwhelmed!  So I’ve been trying to stick with her program, and develop routines, and only do  a task for 10 to 15 minutes, and for the most part it has worked.  I have slowed down because of all the Christmas things that need done, and also because my to do list just keeps growing, but basically have a routine.  I just think I need to change it a little from what she says.  Flylady has a Monday Home Blessing hour, where she vacuums and does her housework.  You can only do the task for 10 minutes, and then you have to go on to the next.  Well, I can’t vacuum in 10 minutes, nor can I change bed linens on 4 beds in that amount of time.  She also has zone work, which is great.  I’m going to tweak the plan somewhat and develop days specifically for kids rooms, bathrooms, kitchen, LR/FR, and the such, and do those every week.  I’m spending too much time looking for emails from Fly to tell me what to do.  I still want to do her challenges and Zone work, and she’s taught me a bunch.  So, Thanks Fly lady!  I’ll let you know how it goes, but the thought of it is overwhelming right now.  I need to make a list, and rework it, then put it into Excel, and change it 3 or 8 times, then print and laminate and place in my binder.  Perfectionist?  HA!

Stranded

Today I felt so small and inadequate.  It was the worst feeling.  As Brooke, Matthew and I were leaving for church this morning, the car was  slow to start.  I thought at that time that I needed to get a new battery, so we wouldn’t be stranded.  Helpless.  And then it happened.  We came out of church, and were talking to Matthew about his class, and as I turned the key we heard nothing but a click. In that instant, it is amazing how many thoughts can run through your mind.  Matthew was telling me I needed to look under the hood, and Brooke was starving and concerned about getting Arby’s for lunch.  Brian and Zach were gone, so I knew I couldn’t call them.  Luckily, we were at church, and lots of people wanted to help.  Two guys went into the church barn and looked for some jumper cables, with no success.  One of them said he would run and buy some, and his wife offered that they would drive us home.  I ended up callng my father in law, he came, and within minutes we were running.  (Straight to the auto parts store!)  I don’t ever want to be in that position ever again.  Not only did I buy a new battery, but also a battery charger.  I guess it’s like jumper cables but you don’t have to hook up to another battery.  Self sufficient!  That’s what I like. 

A different experience

There’s something that’s been bothering me since Sunday. I just need to get it out, and I have prayed about it, but I also want your oppinion. Let me start off by giving a little family background. My maternal grandparents took me to church when I was a kid, and I was baptized around age 9 I think. My mom would attend sometimes. During my teen years I went to a much smaller church with my best friend. We were active in the youth group there. I went off to college and strayed away from church. (There are two branches to this tree, so bear with me please. ) The first branch is my husband. I actually met Brian at college. I shared an apartment with two friends, one who left me way too soon! Love ya Stace!! Brian also had an apartment two doors down. It was my first year, and his last. He graduated and went to Purdue for two more years. I finished college and moved back home to start my nursing career. I was working crazy hours, and church never seemed to fit into my schedule. Brian proposed on Christmas day, and we were married in July after he graduated. We didn’t have a church, so we picked one that was about halfway for both our families to drive to. We met with the pastor, and had one session of pre-marital counseling. It was really good. We later received a phone call that the pastor had left, no details, but if we wanted to get married, we needed to provide a pastor, or take their fill in. We chose my uncle, and he flew in and performed a beautiful ceremony.

Skip forward about 8 years. This is the second branch, and it involves my dad. I don’t recall him ever attending church when I was little. My mom’s dad told him he had to be baptized to marry my mom, so he did that, but wasn’t much of a follower. He believed in God, but wasn’t living it. Long story short, I wish you could meet him and hear his testimony. He is filled with the Holy Spirit, and it flows out of him when he speaks. Dad was at a low place, and he cried out to Jesus, and instantly dad felt His presence. From that moment on, he has been an inspiration to me and many others. So Brian and I started taking the kids to church. A really big church, where it is easy to get lost in the crowd. I joined a small group for a bible study, but Brian wouldn’t go because it’s not his thing. He was baptized 4 years ago, on the same day as his brother.

This is where the story gets hard. I feel like just attending church on Sunday is not enough, and he has a different view. I have tried many times to initiate a bible study with him, and failed. I pray for him, and I try to be the good example for him, but it seems like everywhere else he goes, there is more darkness than light. He is in a constant struggle in the sand, and it is very hard for us both. Well racing has taken quite a few of our weekends, and church attendance has not been up to par. This past Sunday was the first time we had been in 3 weeks, I think. The sermon series is on the “one anothers” in the bible. Love one another, forgive one another, be compassionate to one another, and this week was about Colossians 3:16. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. So we sang, we praised, and we worshipped for the whole hour. It was amazing, and I could feel His presence with us. It was powerful and moving. I could not stand still. Deep down I knew that the only One who hears me singing and thinks it is a joyful sound is the Lord, but it didn’t matter. I just can’t describe to you how great it was! Now, Brian was standing right next to me, but the only time I really noticed him was when I heard his big sighs. I was filled with joy and gratitude. My feeling lasted until later that night when I was trying to talk to Brian about it. I wanted to know if he felt it too. I was disappointed to hear that he had a different experience. He doesn’t like to sing, and was bothered that it lasted the whole hour. He was irritated that he didn’t see the pastor, and so self focused that his back and feet were hurting. I know that the experience was different because my heart and eyes are open, and his aren’t. That doesn’t make it any easier. My dad has told me that I can’t push Brian, he has to come to it on his own, and that is so hard. I wanted to tell him that God was in that place, and maybe if he wasn’t so self absorbed in his own thoughts, he would have noticed. I just keep praying for him to open his heart, and for the Holy Spirit to fill him with such force that he knows what an awesome gift we’ve been given. I know I can only continue to pray, and I will, because I love him, and want him to be the spiritual head of our household. If anyone has any suggestions, or could just pray for Brian as well, I would greatly appreciate it.

One of those…

I am having one of those days. You moms know what I mean, but I will elaborate anyway in hopes that I will feel better when I get it off my chest. OK, yesterday was the first day of school. That itself has me out of sorts. My daughter started middle school, ugh, and my oldest son third grade. They are in different schools. She has to be at school at 7:30 am, and he has to be there at 8:45 am. At 12:30 I had to take my hubby to the airport, and I will pick him up again Friday night. (He is in Texas enjoying the tropical storm.) So at 1:30 pm, I had dropped 3 of my loved ones off at different locations, and explained to my 3 year old at least 30 times why daddy would not be “right back.” I was going by the middle school, which by the way, our house is a mere 3 miles from, and on the same road, but they are widening the road and it is closed right before the school, so we have to enjoy a detour four times a day. I digress…anyway, driving by and thinking it’s almost time to pick her up. Do I really want to detour to get home for 30 minutes, and detour back? We opted to sit in the parking lot and watch the newest installment of Veggietales. The chill time was needed by both of us. My daughter had a great day in middle school, and I hope she continues to enjoy it. Third grade was “good” for Zach too. It’s funny, Brooke told me every little incident about her day, and Zach says “good” and that’s all I get. I tried asking him questions, and he was a good sport for a few of them, and then he grew tired of it. We came home, and then ran Brooke to dance, ran to McD’s for the boys, home to eat, back to dance to video tape choreography, back home, back to dance to video and pick Brooke up, back home and finally to bed. We started over again this morning, but I did have a wonderful friend take Zach to school. He had hesitations at first, but he doesn’t really like change. He informed me when I picked him up that he wanted to ride with Andrew all the time. I don’t feel like super mom, and I don’t feel the love right now!

I am such a home body, and I cherish the time that we have together with nowhere we need to go. Tonight was one of those nights. I was so excited, and ready to snuggle up with the kiddos and read, watch TV, and have fun. I’ll start with the disclaimer that those were pretty wide hopes for 3 tired kiddos. The boys had pent up energy and were wrestling around. Both ended up in tears and I was ready to pull my hair out. Brooke was whining, she wants a laptop for Christmas, but she wants it now…she doesn’t want to eat leftovers…she wants a computer for her room and she will be happy…whine..whine..whine.. The boys have one of those nerf dart guns, and Zach thought he would shoot Brooke, and she would stop annoying him. Then Matthew took the gun from Zach, and he was going to shoot her while Zach held her. Brooke pushed Zach away, he ran over to her and punched her, hard, and started to scream at her as he ran away. It was at this point, 7:45 pm, that I had reached my limit. I asked Zach to go to bed, as he had been warned already. He is immediately repentant and refuses to go upstairs until Brooke has to as well. Brooke goes, but I spend the next 45 minutes asking Zach to please stop talking and go to bed. He just wanted to talk…He was sorry..I am a dumbo…he’s gonna get Brooke, it’s all her fault.. I start taking privileges away..he tells me to shut up..this is not going well..he takes his glasses off and throws them to the floor..they are broken..my hubby calls me back and I don’t want to immediately go off on him so I ask how the meetings are going. No real answer, and I am trying not to complain that he was supposed to call me around lunch time and didn’t, when he tells me his phone is about to die. And it does…

That is the day I am having. I know some of you can relate, and I sypathize with you. I am feeling your pain right now.
I pray for all the moms out there, Lord, I just ask that you bless us with your favor, and fill us with the Holy Spirit. Forgive our sins and help us to start clean with You every day. Our mercies are new with You every morning, and I am so thankful. You give me strength when I am weak, refresh me when I am tired. Please help me to use the opportunities that You give me, so that I grow in You, and teach those around me as well. Help me to lead my children into Your light, and train them in Your ways. Thank You for the peace given to me.