This can’t be possible

Brooke is currently sitting in her second class of Drivers Ed. This wasn’t my idea. I don’t think she needs to drive, but she and daddy disagree with me.

How did she grow up so quickly?

My precious baby girl

A little confession

On Friday evening we watched Brooke cheer the Cougars on at their first loss. It was a tough game! I love watching Brooke though, so I still enjoyed it. She is simply beautiful, loves deeply, and is so kind hearted. I am blessed to call her my daughter.

She will be starting Drivers Ed on Wednesday, so I could use lots of prayers. I’m going to be a blubbering mess!

Saturday brought with it Matthew’s second basketball game of the season. He has picked up a lot since last year, and it’s fun to watch him understand what’s going on. It also helps that Brooke’s boyfriend is an awesome player on the Varsity team, and he is eager to help Matthew out.

Here’s where the confession comes. Are you still there? I’m just a little competitive. Ok, maybe a lot! I could tell you that I just want him to have fun, but I really want him to win. I want him to have fun while winning. I don’t know where this comes from, because I didn’t play any sports when I was little. But something comes out in me, and it’s not pretty.

This year we have a referee, and he makes some calls, but he clearly stated that they didn’t want him to make too many. Well, when a kid takes my baby down to the floor, I expect a call. I almost came off the bleachers to save Matthew, but thought better of it when Brian looked me in the eye and told me “it’s ok.” Obviously it was NOT ok, as some kid just took. my. baby. down!! Then his mom cheers him on! This is when something snapped in me, and I yelled out, “don’t let him push you around, Matthew!” And the next time Matthew scored, I cheered extra loud. Looking back, I’m not proud of my behavior. I am proud of Matthew though.

That evening we had the pleasure of traveling to another Cougars game, and watching them pull off an awesome win. The calls were terrible, and it was a close game up to the last second, but it was probably the most exciting basketball game I’ve been to. Everyone left smiling.

Yesterday we cleaned the house a little and Brooke’s boyfriend spent the day with us. He was outside playing basketball with the boys while Brooke finished a project, and I think she might have been jealous. It was sweet. Matthew has been having a hard time leaving me for school lately, some days he has cried and not wanted to get out of the car in the drop off line. This has gone on for a couple of weeks now, and it always rears up at the last minute in drop off, until last night. Last night, he became very teary when I said there were only eight more days of school until Christmas break. He told me he didn’t want to go to school because he misses me too much when he’s there. We spent some time laying on my bed talking, crying, and praying. I told him that we thought our family was complete, and then I decided we needed one more child, and that Jesus gave us him. I shared with him that Jesus knew what He was doing, and that He has great plans for Matthew. Also that He’s always with us, so when we get scared, all we have to do is call out to Him. We prayed a lot, and we went to bed in a better place.

I didn’t wake up today with that same light heart though. I hit the snooze button, so there wasn’t time for me to do my bible reading. I was grouchy when I walked into the kitchen that I had cleaned yesterday, and discovered a large mess on the table and in the sink where someone made muddy buddies and didn’t clean up after themselves. The dog was into EVERYTHING! I was also dreading waking Matthew up. I didn’t want to deal with any more tears, and I was just a grump. Little things kept hitting me, and I know it was satan. Brooke waited until this morning to print off her project and the printer needed to run a test print first. Her ride showed up and she told them to go on, so I had to take her to school. I was in a full blown tizzy by that time. When I came back home, Matthew and I sat at the kitchen table together. I could tell that he was trying to hold back the tears, and he could probably tell I was being overly talkative. We were doing well until he reminded me that we needed to fill out his reading log, and I couldn’t find it. I made one out, and we were racing out the door to make it to school on time. I drove to the end of the road, came to a rolling stop and turned right. As soon as I did, I saw the cop sitting there. When I passed him, he pulled out behind me, and next I saw his lights. I knew what I had done. I was guilty and wrong. And running late.

The officer was very nice and just gave me a warning. I know I should stop. Completely.

We went off and made it to school in time. Both of us were trying to hold it together by this time, and we managed to do so. I promised him last night that we would do something special if he didn’t cry, so tonight we made homemade sugar cookies together. As we were sitting at the table, he said, “thanks for bringing me into this world.” I chuckled as I asked him where that came from, and he said, “you know, last night when you were talking to me about wanting another baby, thanks for having me.” My heart melts!

Halloween 2011

So Halloween brings up all sorts of differing opinions, most of which I just toss up to opinion. We’ve always gone trick or treating and it’s just something fun to do. Get dressed up and visit family for candy. Some years we would visit the trunk or treat at church, and neighborhoods of friends. My two oldest are really too old to participate at 15 and 13, but the 13 year old held out this year and went with a couple of his buddies.

It seems to get tricky with Matthew because he is easily frightened by scary masks and crazy people that jump out at you from under a pile of leaves. Wonder where he gets that from? Ummm ME! Come on people, there are little children walking around trying to get loads of candy and you make it your goal in life to scare the bejeezus out of them! Not to mention moms who could possibly have a heart attack because of the sudden fright.

This year he really surprised me though. I think it’s a sign of him growing up, which makes daddy smile and mommy cry a little. He walked right up to those doors and rang the doorbell, said Trick or Treat, and even said Thank you! I am so proud of him! He even braved walking by the Scream statue, very slowly albeit, but all by himself. No siblings there to ease the fears, and daddy and I stood on the sidewalk. 

We went to a start up neighborhood just across the street from us and learned that they weren’t expecting many trick or treaters and they gave HANDFULS of candy. So we spent half the time and got twice the candy. Bonus!

Grandma and Grandpa were our last stop and he was not disappointed there. He quickly dumped the cauldron of goods into his bag and proceeded to raid all the candy jars too. Shortly after that he was bounding from couch to couch and I was saying, ” No more CANDY!”

Matthew knows the history behind Halloween, but he told me to him it’s all about fun and candy. I don’t think there’s a better way to look at it. I’m sure to some there is a dark connotation associated with the holiday, but to us its for fun. And we’re stickin’ to it. Literally!

Raging Germs

It’s official. My house is infested with raging germs. Last week it was the flu, and today Brooke and Zach were diagnosed with strep throat. In the past 8 days we’ve spent $360.00 at the pharmacy and we’re still sick. I’m over it, really! Can it just go away please?

Things to remember

As a mom, I find myself trying to etch certain memories into my brain and heart to be kept with me forever. Whether it be the big things in life, or even something small in the grand scheme of things. Whatever it is, touches me so deeply that I don’t want to let it go. Ever.

So I decided to keep a list of them here, and will continually add to them. Being a perfectionist, I naturally want to go back to the beginning of time to start the list…but I won’t. Yet…

I always want to remember how gracefully Brooke dances, and the beautiful smile on her face when she does it.
The way Matthew crawls onto my lap for bedtime prayers and he wraps himself around me.
The way Zach thinks he’s too big for a hug but he still lets me hug him anyway.
Matthew calls his morning oatmeal…oakmeal. It’s so dang cute!
And lastly, when I step back and just observe them, how much love they have for each other. Yeah, they argue and fight over silly stuff, but they also have these great moments in time together. Shared sibling moments that I never experienced, and sometimes just don’t understand. But I love experiencing them through their moments. I am so blessed!

The Man in the Red Suit



I tried to coerce the older kids to have their picture taken with Santa, but they decided to wreak havoc skip out and walk the mall with friends. So Matthew and I were left alone, in a fairly short line, and he decided he didn’t want to see Santa alone. The vision of me squatting at the knee of Santa one year while holding Matthew in my arms pops into my head. I wasn’t dressed for the occasion, and I hate that picture! This can’t be happening again! So I did what every good mom would do. I begged and pleaded, gave him my sad face, and it worked. He marched right up there and sat down on Santa’s lap, and proceeded to tell him what is on his wish list. And a few other things that he hadn’t told me yet.

Now I love this Santa. He is the same man that Brooke sat on 14 years ago when she was a baby. It was the same man 2 years later when Zach was a baby. We have history. We go way back. I will cry if he retires before Matthew…ya know…finds out….

We won’t go there, not yet. He knows that we celebrate Christmas for Jesus birthday and not for Santa, but it’s just one of those magical things that I’m not ready to give up on yet.

Summer Vacation

Alas, the time is here, and it has been much awaited for. Last year I was more excited, but after going back to work, I’m not so looking forward to it. I want to be able to lounge in bed with them while watching TV on rainy days, and play in the pool with them when it’s sunny. They’re growing up so fast that I can almost feel them slipping through  my fingers. I want to chericsh every smile, giggle, and hug. My kids are amazing!

Why a Daughter needs a Mom

I bought this book to give to my daughter, (12 years old), and I thought I would share a few of the reasons. I didn’t realize until I was in my twenties, so maybe I can pass it to you.

A daughter needs a mom to provide her with memories that will last forever. (That’s why we always have a camera in front of our faces, and stay up really late making creative scrapbook pages!)

A daughter needs a mom who is never more than a phone call away. (The reason she had a cell phone at age 10!)

A daughter needs a mom to assure her that she always has a place to come home to. Because no one understands girls like a mom. To remind her that in faith there is fellowship.

A daughter needs a mom to soothe the pain of a broken heart, to teach her that sometimes choosing to wait is a good idea, and to teach her that you cannot make someone love you, but you ca be someone who can be loved.

A daughter needs a mom to tell her that beauty never fades if you look in the right places.

The Book, Why a daughter needs a mom was written by Gregory E. Lang. Go out and buy it, make your mom or daughter feel loved. I’ll post more later.

Parent Teacher conferences

Every year it goes like this.
Teacher-  She/He’s such a good student, but so very quiet.
Me- Are you sure you have the right kid?  My kid is quiet?  Would you like to come home with me?  Please…?

What do you get when two introverts have kids?  Introverted kids!  Brooke is 12 and she’s just now becoming the social butterfly, much to my dismay. 

So yesterday it was Zach’s teacher.  She had only two concerns.  The first was that Zach’s best friend L is out of town this week, and she wasn’t sure how Zach would do.  Surprisingly, she said he’s made the effort to choose other partners and has done well!  Secondly, she wanted to know if he was scared or intimidated of her.  I told her that he’s never mentioned anything like that.  Again, she just talked about how quiet and shy he was, and gave the example of him coming up to her desk to ask a question.  She said he would stand there quietly, not interrupting if she was doing something, and wait for her to look up.  Then he would ask the question very quietly and walk away quickly.  Now I think he’s just being respectful with that one, and am proud of him for not just jumping in with his question.  Miss D. went on to say that he’s very bright, and a couple of times she’s seen his sense of humor.  (He is a very funny kid!) 

I always get a kick out of these things, and then I come home and relay to the kids what I heard.  Zach just gets a big grin on his face, he’s so cute!  What can I say about being shy?

Pre-teen angst

So my daughter is 12, and in the 7th grade.  She has a May birthday, so she’s one of the youngest in her class.  This can sometimes lead to drama, because she’s not really old enough to make mature and responsible decisions.  Lately, she’s exercised her ability to showcase that deficit to me.  She’s made some really poor decisions when it concerns a couple of her friends.  I try to understand that peer pressure has a lot to do with it, but on the other hand, had hoped that I had raised her with enough backbone to stand up for what she thinks is right. 

Luckily she did come to me and divulge some of the incidents that happened.  Now, I want us to be able to talk about anything, so I was glad that she decided to share the info with me, but I was trying not to freak out!  I didn’t want to scare her off from ever confiding in me again, but I also wanted to let her know that I disapproved of her behavior.  It was a tough situation to be in!

The next conundrum, if you will, was whether I should tell my friend, and Brooke’s friends mom.  I felt like if it were the other way around, I would want to know.  I really struggled with that, and in the end waited too long and something else happened.  Now, nobody got hurt, but someone could have.  I shared with my friend, and she had a discussion with her daughter.  We both learned a few things that had been lied about, and then we talked to the girls again.  It’s an ongoing process where I am learning, and praying.  Praying for good, Godly friends, and the courage to stand up for what is right.


Brooke went back to school today and I’m scared to see the amount of makeup work she’ll have for missing 2 days.  I kept her isolated from the rest of the family and I think it worked.  So far no complaints from anyone else.  She auditions tonight for the Circle of Lights, so keep your fingers crossed. 

Matthew has enjoyed the past two days that we’ve stayed in.  In fact, he hasn’t even put clothes on! 

Tuesday when Zach came home from school and I asked him how his day was.  He said “nice”.  I was in shock.  He always says “good”.  When I tried to press further to see what the difference was, he retreated outside to ride his bike.  He’s a man of few words, just like his daddy. 

He did come out of his 10 year old shell a couple of weeks ago.  My son asked a girl to go out with him, and he told me about it!  She said no, but it’s OK because all of his friends think he’s so cool for asking her.

I guess that’s about it, except for trying to house break a thirty pound puppy.  Any suggestions there would be great.  Oh, and if you’re gonna say just rip the carpet out, I already did that last week.  I put hardwood flooring down in the hallway all by myself!


My poor baby girl woke up in the night throwing up, and she hasn’t stopped.  Now she’s burning up with a fever and trying to sleep.  Keep her in your prayers.

Single again…

Matthew wants to break up with me because I got mad at him for throwing the dog.  He said I can marry daddy again.  That was as short lived as some celebrity weddings!

Will you marry me?

Matthew, my 5 year old, snuggled up with me last night and asked me if I would marry him.  I told him I was already married to daddy, and that one day he would grow up and meet a nice girl to marry.  He asked where he would meet her, and I said church!  We talked about him bringing her home to meet our family and he asked where she would sit at the table since we don’t have enough chairs.  (Where does he come up with this stuff?) 

He ended the conversation by asking me to marry him and break up with daddy.  What can ya say?


Matthew has been watching a new video in the van called WordWorld, by PBS.  We had just picked Brooke up from dance last night, and I heard the movie spell P-I-E.  So I asked Matthew how do you spell Pie? 

Matthew- I dunno
Zach-well they just told you how to spell it.  Were you listening? 
Matthew- I don’t wanna disguss about it!!!!
Zach- what’s he going to do in Kindergarten when the teacher asks him a question?  Say I don’t want to discuss about it? 
Me- Thankfully we have another year.

my today

Nothing much going on here.  We went to the carwash, and then to United Arts and Education.  Matthew is getting bored with the school stuff that we have, so I thought we’d look for something fun.  We came out of there with a few games, and the most exciting thing…… a Grow a Frog kit.  You send away for a tadpole or froglet, and raise it.  The one they had in the store was huge!  It was a very cute water frog, and Matthew and I both loved it.  I thought it would be a great thing to do for Science. 

After that we both went and got haircuts.  I had about 4 inches taken off of mine, and he just had a trim and a spike job.  We’ll see if daddy notices!

School and Germs

The two go hand in hand.  It never fails that when school starts, so do all the infections.  They run rampant through the halls of education, seeking a warm body to inhabit.  This time they’ve found my Boo Bear!  Brooke is sick, and the doctor said it’s just viral, but did give us a prescription for eardrops.  Thank you God for our health insurance, because the tiny little bottle of ear drops only cost us $15.  The paper on the outside of the bag says our insurance saved us $184!  What!?  That just seems like highway robbery, or price gouging, or just completely ridiculous!!!!!  Is it liquid gold? 

It had better make her feel like dancin’ soon!

School Supplies

The majority of our afternoon was spent between Office Depot and Wal-Mart for back to school shopping.  We went with lists in hand that were supplied by each school, and were checking things off as we went along.  Office Depot had folders for $0.05 each, so we scored big with those.  Paper Mate 10 packs of pens were $0.25, so we bought 4 packs.  Of course the pencils that were on sale were not pretty enough for Brooke, so we had to get the decorative mechanical ones that were, like, $6.00.  All in all, and don’t tell Brian, we spent over $300 today on backpacks and stuff to go in them.  I honestly don’t understand why the school system cannot supply some paper, pencils, erasers, and folders.  I’m not saying the teachers should.  I’m saying the school system.  Don’t we pay enough taxes for a little school supplies?  And what’s with the 3 large boxes of Kleenex?  What’s next, a family size pack of toilet paper? 

The whole thing stresses me out.  As we were walking through one store, Brooke asked me why my neck was red.  I told her because stress makes me break out in hives! 

Tomorrow we have the nightmare of registration, where there will be 10 different stations to write separate checks, wait in long lines, and have school pictures taken.  Then we’ll go do it all over again at Brooke’s school.  AAaahh, school is bliss.

Matthew was so cute today.  He wants to/doesn’t want to/isn’t old enough to go to Kindergarten.  He misses the birthday cut off, which doesn’t upset me at all.  I will love to have him home with me for another year!  But he wanted to get some things too, so I told him he’s in Pre-K homeschool, and we picked out a couple of workbooks and colored pencils for them.  He also wanted his very own art box and back pack to keep it all in.  I did manage to talk him out of the lunch box, but I’m toast if they don’t have that particular one next year! 

Lord, please grant me with patience and knowledge when it comes to our Pre-K homeschool experience.  I have a feeling my limits are gonna be tested!

What’s up?

Brooke had cheer camp over the weekend, 2 1/2 hours away from home.  The daytime schedule was grueling, but they did manage to sneak in a couple of hours of social time in the evening.  At one point I was trying to talk to her on the phone and it was crazy loud.  I said, “are you guys having a party or what!”?  She just laughed and said “Yeah”.  There were only 2 mishaps.  One, she forgot her spending money, so she couldn’t buy the overpriced $40 t-shirt that said cheer on it.  The other was, she fell and the coach called me.  Apparently she is a flyer, not something I’m excited about, and one of the bases grabbed her leg in the wrong spot, causing Brooke to bend her leg and fall forward.  She hurt her arm, but the trainer looked at it and said there was no fracture.  She took some Motrin and iced it, and all is fine. 

We went up on Sunday to pick her up and see the competition part of it.  I have learned that I’ll need to purchase some earplugs for the games, because I came out of there with a headache.  It was good though.  I can’t believe the stunts they’re doing already.  I’m used to seeing her gracefully dancing on stage, not flying through the air. 

Last night we went to our dance meeting.  It was good, and Brooke is excited at all the opportunities she was offered.  I can’t believe that school is starting in 2 weeks.  Where has the summer gone?  I was looking forward to a more laid back school year, but now I’m not sure that’s going to happen. 

Our garden is doing so well.  I picked our first cucumber the other day, and bell pepper too.  We’ve had several tomatoes, and we have two of the cutest little watermelons growing.  I get so excited when I go out and spot something new growing.

Funny Story

Brooke is at a sleepover tonight, so the boys and I went to pick up some Playstation 2 games.  We left Gamestop and ran over to Target.  As soon as we got in the store, Zach had to use the restroom.  He turned to go, and Matthew decided he needed to go too.  They walked hand in hand for a few steps, and then Zach started to drag Matthew by the arm.  Matthew proceeded to fall down, and the struggle continued until they went into the restroom. 

As we were walking away, Zach told me that Matthew got in there and said he didn’t have to go.  After Zach had gone, Matthew decided he would go.  Now Zach was talking in hushed tones because there were people around, but Matthew started telling the story a little bit louder.  We were laughing at him when Zach says that Matthew pulled his shorts down and was standing with his fanny fully exposed.  Zach was appalled, and I was confused.  I said, isn’t there a door?  At which point Zach says, “no he was using the urinator.”  I cracked up!  The Urinator… is that something like a urinal?