It’s part of the journey

Do you ever feel like you’re on a roller coaster ride and the attendant decides to take an extended lunch break? So you’re riding along and having fun, the ride slows down and you enter the chute where you will exit the ride, but the ride doesn’t stop. It goes right on through the chute and back up you go.

Maybe it will be fun to go again, you think.

You come to a slow and enter the chute again, expecting to stop this time, and continue right on through and back up again.

That’s what I feel like right now. I just want to get off of the roller coaster and take a breather.

I mentioned a few days ago that God was moving Big time, and it was wonderful! But ya know what happens when God moves? Satan gets worried that he’s losing the battle and he starts getting ugly. He fights dirty too. Pulls out all the nasty stuff and uses it to pull us back to his ways.

So, there’s a battle going on. It’s ugly. It’s not fun. It makes me cry.

It makes me lean closer to God.

It makes me call my prayer warriors.

It draws me nearer to Christ.

For some, it makes them question.

I know the victor. I will stand firm in His promises, and know that this is working for His good. He has a plan and I’m trying not to step in the way, all the while I’m trying to lead by example.

It’s not easy because I’m human and I fall short every day. The beauty of that is forgiveness and grace.

If only we choose to accept it.

So I will continue to ride this coaster until the journey is done. Each hill gets us closer.

My Long Weekend

My Long Weekend

Black tee
$13 – target.com

J crew
$50 – jcrew.com

Teva ribbon shoes
$20 – dsw.com

Holy Bible – goHastings
$11 – gohastings.com

My Weekend

My Weekend

Sober Is Sexy tote handbag
$19 – shopthetrendboutique.com

Holy Bible – goHastings
$11 – gohastings.com

My Weekend

My Weekend

Sober Is Sexy tote handbag
$19 – shopthetrendboutique.com

Holy Bible – goHastings
$11 – gohastings.com

Things to remember

As a mom, I find myself trying to etch certain memories into my brain and heart to be kept with me forever. Whether it be the big things in life, or even something small in the grand scheme of things. Whatever it is, touches me so deeply that I don’t want to let it go. Ever.

So I decided to keep a list of them here, and will continually add to them. Being a perfectionist, I naturally want to go back to the beginning of time to start the list…but I won’t. Yet…

I always want to remember how gracefully Brooke dances, and the beautiful smile on her face when she does it.
The way Matthew crawls onto my lap for bedtime prayers and he wraps himself around me.
The way Zach thinks he’s too big for a hug but he still lets me hug him anyway.
Matthew calls his morning oatmeal…oakmeal. It’s so dang cute!
And lastly, when I step back and just observe them, how much love they have for each other. Yeah, they argue and fight over silly stuff, but they also have these great moments in time together. Shared sibling moments that I never experienced, and sometimes just don’t understand. But I love experiencing them through their moments. I am so blessed!

The Man in the Red Suit

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I tried to coerce the older kids to have their picture taken with Santa, but they decided to wreak havoc skip out and walk the mall with friends. So Matthew and I were left alone, in a fairly short line, and he decided he didn’t want to see Santa alone. The vision of me squatting at the knee of Santa one year while holding Matthew in my arms pops into my head. I wasn’t dressed for the occasion, and I hate that picture! This can’t be happening again! So I did what every good mom would do. I begged and pleaded, gave him my sad face, and it worked. He marched right up there and sat down on Santa’s lap, and proceeded to tell him what is on his wish list. And a few other things that he hadn’t told me yet.

Now I love this Santa. He is the same man that Brooke sat on 14 years ago when she was a baby. It was the same man 2 years later when Zach was a baby. We have history. We go way back. I will cry if he retires before Matthew…ya know…finds out….

We won’t go there, not yet. He knows that we celebrate Christmas for Jesus birthday and not for Santa, but it’s just one of those magical things that I’m not ready to give up on yet.

Be Still-Part 2

Last month I hinted around at something that I wanted and it didn’t happen. The opportunity presented itself again, and I didn’t know what to do. I wrestled with God, and I had questions. Was I doing the right thing, or using my free will to do the wrong thing? I finally decided that God would close the door again if it wasn’t supposed to be. The IT, was a job at a school. There were lots of pros and cons on the list, and I was just uncertain. When it didn’t happen the first time around, I will be totally honest, my heart was broken. I was upset and confused, but I came to the place that I understood, it wasn’t meant to be. God closed that door for a reason, and I might not ever know the reason, but I will go on. So, when the postings came up again, there was inner turmoil. Turmoil because of what happened the last time, and a few other reasons too. But, like I said previously, I prayed about it and went out on a limb.

I had inner turmoil, and that’s when I knew I needed to be still. I wanted to interfere, but I didn’t. That was hard for me, an admitted control freak, but I stayed strong.

Our schools are way, WAY over budget. They proposed a referendum, a property tax increase for 7 years to help ease the budgetary problems. Most people in our community are feeling the down turn of the economy, reigning in spending, and leary of increased taxes. The referendum did not pass, therefore, the teaching assistant position that I interviewed for back in August and didn’t get, will be cut. The person who did get the job, a teacher who didn’t get a teaching position, but a teachers assistant, will be losing her job. It’s hitting home. God closed the door, and now He’s revealing why. He always knows.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I’m glad that I was able to listen and be still. I didn’t take control and mess things up. It would have been a hassle, an inconvenience that we just don’t need right now. So, it was hard, but He saved me from the really hard. Thank you Jesus for loving me and my flaws. You forgive me when I’m controlling and mess things up. Please continue to grow and change me.

Weekend Re-cap

It’s tough to be a mom and have two kids doing different activities in different locations at the same time. Can someone just split me in half and put my heart back together?

Friday night Brooke danced at the JV football game and the boys raced. I’ve attended all the other football games to watch her dance, and missed the boys racing on those nights. This night was different in that Zach moved up out of the Restrictor class to the Open Wing class. Instead of racing with boys aged 10-16, he was now racing with 16++. My baby racing with grown men! I wanted to be there for that first time.

Brooke tells me they had their best performance ever, so YAY! I’m sad I missed it baby girl, but thank you for understanding. Matthew had an astounding night. He passed a few cars, and ended up finishing 5th in the feature. He is making great strides, and he’s only just turned 7, so I am so proud of him.

Zach moved up and qualified 3rd fast, won the heat race and won the feature. It was so awesome to see that smile back on his face, and to see these grown men coming up and praising him for doing so well. My heart swells! It was amazing.

Saturday brought another football game, this time Varsity played at Lucas Oil Stadium, and Brooke danced at pre-game. She was right, best performance ever. My baby girl is so beautiful all the time, but when she dances, she is absolutely radiant! I can’t take my eyes off of her to see what the whole group is doing. God has gifted her with dance. It DID NOT come from me.

I left the game early and rushed to Martinsville to see the boys race again. We had never been to this track, and don’t think we will ever go back. It was too small and sandy dirt, so they were sliding all over the place. Good experience for them, but not enjoyable.

Church yesterday was awesome! The sermon was about Abraham, and what to do when you don’t know what to do. One thing that still sticks in my mind is this…God doesn’t want you to follow a plan, He wants you to follow HIM!

The boys went to the woods after lunch, and Brooke and I spent some quiet time together, then we went to the grocery store. Busy weekend, and I don’t really feel like I accomplished much. I’m ready for the busy season to come to a close, and spend some time with my family at home.

Now is not a good time

Chapter 4 of the Radical read along, and let me just be really honest here…I want to quit. So badly. I just want to lay this book down and not think of it again, because it makes me feel broken, lost, confused, and convicted. I don’t like feeling this way. Guilty too, I almost forgot the guilt. I keep waiting for a happy chapter. One filled with how much God loves me and appreciates what I’m doing. Or just how He loves me even when I’m not doing anything to grow His kingdom, but just sailing along on my own, taking care of things.

That’s how I was living before this book changed my perspective. Every chapter is tough. They make me want to change myself, and the world around me. But how? I’m just me and now is really not a good time. See, I’m one of those people that has supported missionaries, but thought “that’s not for me.” Surely God doesn’t want me to go to the ends of the earth when my family is here…and comfortable. Maybe when the kids are grown I’ll be able to travel to the less fortunate and serve in some way. Maybe.

Jesus called us to make disciples of all nations in Matthew 28. Am I saying no? How can I? Really, how can I say no to Jesus, and how can I make disciples of all the nations? Sadly, saying no has become way too easy. Making disciples can only be accomplished by humbling myself, confessing my weakness, and accepting God’s grace. Only by the GRACE of God!

“He created human beings, not only to enjoy his grace in a relationship with him, but also to extend his glory to the ends of the earth.” (pg 65) The great why of God deals with a global purpose. It’s not just my neck of the woods. Global.

“God blesses his people with extravagant grace so they might extend his extravagant glory to all peoples on the earth.” (pg 69) How great is that? He blesses me with his grace, so I can share his glory with the world. Be a disciple, and share his glory. He blesses me, and I choose to extend that to others, not just ignore it and go on about my life. That’s good. And scary too. It’s making me step outside of my box of comfort, and take a hard look at myself.

I don’t like what I’m seeing, so I’m praying. God is working on me, and I’m trying not to say no anymore. Refine me Lord. Use me. Thank you.

Radical-chapter one

Someone Worth Losing Everything For
Jesus took the few who believed him when he said radical things, and turned the course of history in a new direction through radical obedience. What am I radically obedient to? If Jesus came to me today and told me to pick up and leave my family to follow Him, would I? Author David Platt talks about his fear of pastoring a modern day megachurch, where success is measured by the size of your crowd, building, and budget. Faced with the realization that Jesus spurned what his church culture said was most important, he asked himself two questions.
1. Am I going to believe Jesus?
2. Am I going to obey Jesus?
We can choose to believe and obey Jesus, to find true satisfaction that only comes from radical abandonment to Jesus. The central message of Christianity is about abandoning ourselves. Abandon our comforts, and all that is familiar and natural to us. Would I still proclaim to be a Christian if I had to attend an underground church without a place to sit or cool air in the summer? If I knew I was risking my life to study the bible, but my hunger for His word was so strong that I didn’t care?

“The cost of discipleship is great. But I wonder if the cost of nondiscipleship is even greater.”
So in answer to the two questions above, I commit to believe whatever Jesus says. I will say yes to the words of Jesus before I even hear them. I commit to obey what I hear. And that my friends, honestly scares me. Scares me a lot, but I need to be on this journey! For more responses to this book, hop on over here.

Loneliness

God has given us so many promises that will encourage you if you are feeling lonely.  Just pick up the bible and spend some time with His word.  You are never alone.  I want to share some verses with you.

Joshua 1:9 “Don’t be afraid, because the Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go.”
Psalm 51:17 “The sacrifice God wants is a broken spirit.  God, you will not reject a heart that is broken and sorry for sin.”
John 14:18 “I will not leave you all alone like orphans; I will come back to you.”
John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first.  If you belonged to the world, it would love you as it loves its own.  But I have chosen you out of the world, so you don’t belong to it.  That is why the world hates you.”
Psalm 94:14 “The Lord won’t leave his people nor give up his children.”
Psalm 9:10 “Those who know the Lord trust Him, because He will not leave those who come to Him.”
Hebrews 13:5 “God has said, ‘I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.'”
Isaiah 43:2-3 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.  When you cross rivers, you will not drown.  When you walk through fire, you will not be burned, nor will the flames hurt you.  This is because I, the Lord, am your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. ”

God’s promises are true.  He stands at the door and knocks, waiting for us to let Him in.

“Moore” Monday

AS LONG AS THE SUN COMES
UP IN THE MORNING, GOD
WILL KEEP OFFERING TO
DELIVER HIS CHILDREN.

Lord, God, just as Your children the Israelites
were chosen out of all the peoples on the
face of the earth to be Your people, Your
treasured possession, I believe that we, the body of
Christ, have been too.
You did not set Your affection on Your
children and choose us because we were more 
numerous than other peoples.  It was because 
You loved us that You redeemed us from
slavery and from the power of the enemy.
Help me to know with certainty that You,
the Lord my God, are indeed God–the
faithful God, keeping Your covenant of love to
a thousand generations of those who love You 
and keep Your commands (Deut. 7:6-9).

Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word Day by Day 

 

Thanksgiving letters Part 3

One of Zach’s best buddies wrote him a letter, and this is what it says. 

Dear Zach,

I’m glad I met you.  You’re my best friend.  I can also trust you.  Thanks for coming over.  You are really fun caus you like what I like.  You are very smart.  You also do what I want to do.  We like the same things.  And really funny.  And like to crash things.  Thank you.

Sincerely,

L

(Isn’t that the sweetest thing?  I need to call his mom and let her know how sweet he is!  I hope he wrote one for her too…)

My Monday

Brooke was sick and the doctor confirmed it was strep.  We went to Meijer because the antibiotic is free there, which I didn’t know.  It’s great that it’s free, but I’m pretty sure they put everyone else in front of you, because we were there for an hour.  It was crazy!  Smart on their part, because they more than made up for it with what I ended up spending to kill the time. 

Monday night was the 3rd of our Obedience classes for our dog Logan.  I have to go back and tell you about last week before I can share this week though.  Brian decided that I was the one who couldn’t control the dog, so I went to classes alone last week.  Everything was going well, and I handled the Yogi fascination, was even told I had made a good correction.  Things got hairy when the trainer said we were going to walk the dogs around the inside of the building.  Now it’s a small building, and there are lots of dogs going to be in our space, so this made me a little nervous.  Maybe Logan picked up on that, because he was nervous and agitated too.  He was paying attention to all the other dogs and not me, and then he went after Yogo, and then Maddy too.  The trainer took him from me and she started walking him, but he didn’t like that either.  In the end it all worked out well, and the other trainer had him sitting on the floor in front of Yogi with no problems, but I was totally stressed out when I got home.  To make matters worse, Brian said it never would have happened if he had been there.  So I was upset again.

Logan and I did our homework and were felling pretty confident when it came time to go to class this Monday.  Brian and the boys were making fun of us, trying to get me nervous.  I just kept saying that we were gonna rock the class.  On the way to class I said a little prayer for a positive bonding experience.  After that I felt better, and walked into class full of confidence.  We walked right by Yogi without a hitch.  I’ll admit when the trainer began talking about us doing a lot of walking, my heart rate jumped up.  Just when I calmed myself down, the trainer came over and said she was going to walk Logan for a few laps to see how he was going to do.  After a couple of laps, she gave him back to me and said he was doing fine.  We walked and walked until she said halt, then we would stop and he would sit and get a treat.  Then we started walking again.  God helped us through that class.  With every step I took, I was singing.  Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Lord,Yes Yes Lord Amen!  He even learned the Down command.  We rocked the class.  It felt really good to know I could do that, and to come home and be happy instead of frazzled like I was last week. 

Moral of the story, ask God to help you in anything and everything.  In my prayer I even said something like this, in the midst of everything going on in our country right now, and the election tomorrow, here I am praying for a dog, but I believe in You and Your power.

“Moore” Monday

THE PURE-HEARTED, FAITH-FILLED

PETITIONER IS GOING TO BEHOLD A

MIRACLE, WHETHER TEMPORAL OR

ETERNAL.  WONDERS NEVER CEASE.

I give thanks to You, Lord, for You are good.
Your love endures forever.

I give thanks to You, the God of gods.  I
give thanks to You, the Lord of lords, to You
who alone does great wonders, who by Your
understanding made the heavens, who spread
out the earth upon the waters, who made the
great lights and the sun to govern the day.

Your love endures forever.

I give thanks to You, Lord, the One who remembered
me in my low estate and freed me from
my enemies.

I give thanks to the God of heaven, for
Your love endures forever.  Indeed, Your love
endures forever!  (Ps. 136:1-8,23-26).

Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word Day by Day

“I hate that!”

Have you seen the commercial of the mom pushing the daughter in the grocery cart?  The mom says, “we need chicken.”  “i don’t liiike chicken!”, says the little girl. 

That happens in my house every day.  I’m cooking supper and Matthew walks up.  Whatcha cookin’ mom?  Barbecue ribs and broccoli casserole, I say with a smile on my face.  I hate that, he replies.  Then he walks away.  Can you feel the love?

“Moore” Monday

OBEDIENCE TO GOD IN A DIFFICULT

SITUATION WILL ULTIMATELY BEAR

FRUIT; EVEN THOUGH IT MIGHT

IMMEDIATELY CAUSE HARDSHIP.

Lord God, according to Your word, if I wholeheartedly commit whatever I do to You, my plans will succeed (Prov. 16:3).  I acknowledge that the heart of committing any plan to You is seeking Your plan.

Show me the right path, Father!

Please help me not to merely listen to the Word, and so deceive myself.  Help me to do what it says (James 1:22).  Your Word works, but if I am to experience it personally, I must be obedient.  I need Your help, Lord. 

When Your words come to me, help me to eat them.  Make them my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear Your name, Lord God Almighty (Jer. 15:16).  Increase my appetite for Your Word, my sufficiency!

Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word Day by Day

 

 

Works for Me Wednesday

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It’s repeat week over at Rocks In My Dryer, and since I don’t have many to choose from, I thought I’d share a new one.  My daughter swells up terribly when she gets a mosquito bite.  If it bites her on the cheek, you can pretty much bet that her eyes are gonna swell shut.  I’m always looking for something safe to spray or rub on, but with all the concern about DEET in the past few years, I’ve been worried about the choices.  We’ve got a lot of standing water around here, so the little buggers will surely be swarming.  A friend of mine told me to put some Listerine in a spray bottle and spray it around the area of the yard we plan to be in.  I mentioned it to another friend, and she said she’s done it and it actually killed the little guys!  So, Listerine is a frugal mosquito spray.  Who woulda thought that? 

New Do’

I guess you could call me a hip and happenin’ mom.  I took Brooke to the salon today and she got highlites.  She has beautiful blonde hair, but she wanted red highlights.  Strawberry blonde as she called them.  The stylist was like, Oh, are you sure, because your hair is blonde and pretty.  I said if it were up to me, we’d lighten it up a bit, but do what Brooke wants.  I was in the back of the salon and couldn’t really see what was going on, and then she came back and chatted with me while our hair was in foil, and she was so, so excited.  When she came back, she was beautiful of course.  Jackie, the stylist, said the red will tone down after a few shampoos.  She also tried to accomodate both of us and put in some blonde streaks too.  It’s cute, and bright, and funky, and bright, and pink in spots, and bright red.  Trying to put a photo up for you to check it out. img_0470.jpg

Ok, this only took me more than an hour to put up.  I learned that I needed to optimize the photo to make it fit.  HAH!!!  I feel good now.  So with all that work, please comment for me?! 

President anyone?!

Please excuse me as I jump right off my soapbox before I even share my frustrations with you about the presidential candidates.  I just feel the need to pray for our country. 

Dear God,

I come to You now to celebrate this nation and surrender its destiny to You.  Thank you for giving us this country.  I thank You and ask You to bless the souls of those who founded this nation, this ONE NATION UNDER GOD.  Fill us with Your love and righteousness, so that we can bring healing to our country.  May we be cleansed of all our destructive thoughts.  May judgement of others, such as bigotry, racism, and intolerance be taken from us, wash us clean, O Lord.  Let our minds be filled with thoughts of You, and Your unconditional love and acceptance for all peoples.  May you forgive us, this nation, of our transgressions, and bless us.  Help us to learn from our mistakes.  Use us for Your good.  Turn our lives into instruments of resurrection, that the sins of our fathers might be reversed through us.  May the beauty of this land burst forth in the hearts of the people.  May the dreams of our forefathers be realized in us, so that we might live in honesty, integrity, and excellence with our neighbors.  Make our country a light for all nations, a light of hope, goodness, peace and freedom.  Cast darkness and violence out of our midst Dear Lord.  May hatred no longer grow here.  May we all feel Your grace upon us, and the spirit of truth in our hearts.  May we be forgiven, repaired and renewed My Lord.  May You bless our children.  May You bless our government leaders.  O Lord, please bless America.