Pre-teen angst

So my daughter is 12, and in the 7th grade.  She has a May birthday, so she’s one of the youngest in her class.  This can sometimes lead to drama, because she’s not really old enough to make mature and responsible decisions.  Lately, she’s exercised her ability to showcase that deficit to me.  She’s made some really poor decisions when it concerns a couple of her friends.  I try to understand that peer pressure has a lot to do with it, but on the other hand, had hoped that I had raised her with enough backbone to stand up for what she thinks is right. 

Luckily she did come to me and divulge some of the incidents that happened.  Now, I want us to be able to talk about anything, so I was glad that she decided to share the info with me, but I was trying not to freak out!  I didn’t want to scare her off from ever confiding in me again, but I also wanted to let her know that I disapproved of her behavior.  It was a tough situation to be in!

The next conundrum, if you will, was whether I should tell my friend, and Brooke’s friends mom.  I felt like if it were the other way around, I would want to know.  I really struggled with that, and in the end waited too long and something else happened.  Now, nobody got hurt, but someone could have.  I shared with my friend, and she had a discussion with her daughter.  We both learned a few things that had been lied about, and then we talked to the girls again.  It’s an ongoing process where I am learning, and praying.  Praying for good, Godly friends, and the courage to stand up for what is right.

Comments

  1. Scary world being a parent isn’t it.

    This is the last eve of NOT having a teenager for us – what will tomorrow bring? Will he wake up a ‘Teenager from heck’.. 🙂

    I have no clue what was up but you are lucky yours will talk, I ‘think’ we have the same relationship with our son in that he will talk but one never knows.

    We went through the ‘bad friend’ stage last year and he seems to see the light now – I hope it keeps shining in his eyes for a long time!

    Thanks for sharing

  2. ugh, that’s a tough one. i have been in that position and my son always begs me not to tell the other parents. nothing really awful has happened, but i have found that some of those other parents that think their kids aren’t involved in the activities my son has owned up to think that he makes bad decisions (clueless to their own kids’ role in the controversy), which he does. but he’s a 15 year old boy, trying to make his way in a very complicated world. i have made it clear that honesty must be a priority and taking responsibility is the only way to go. he’s very good at both, for someone his age. i hope those two things will see him through.

    on another note, it was fun chatting last night. see you next week?

  3. yeah. The whole should I talk to the friend’s mom? BIG time issues could come from doing that? Hard one is right.

  4. Hi, jus found you on twitter. Your site rocks. It looks like you have he situation under control and that you are following G-d’s leading.

  5. Oh, I totally understand. My eldest son is also 12 in the 7th grade and the youngest in his classes. Which for a boy can be a challenge all in itself because he is tall for his age but short when he is around kids who are 13. Anywho, having academic knowledge does not remove wisdom and maturity that is for sure. Being a parent truly takes faith in God to know that when we are not with them He always is.

    with blessings,

    Minister Mamie

  6. This situation is so hard. For instance…YARM13YOL (Mary Margaret 13) repeated to my nephew that she had overheard her best friends brother bragging about drinking and smoking pot. My nephew tells me, I grilled YARM13YOL, and then I told the Mom. Response? NOT MY SON. YARM13YOL should not be spreading rumors that are not true…this went on for a while and they eventually convinced me that YARM13YOL was making all this up and I MADE HER APOLOGIZE to the mom and the boy IN PERSON. This was one of the hardest things at that time, that I had made her do and it was hard for me to because I thought that I had raised her in church and that she knew better. The very next night, my husband who owns a wrecker service received a call to tow said boy’s truck, he had been arrested for minor in possession of alcohol and pot.

    The mom called my cell phone and left a message…Um Kaye, I owe YARM13YOL an apology, Im sorry.

    You run into all kinds of parents. I use my best judgement and pray.

    If it helps, it gets worse…

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