One of those…

I am having one of those days. You moms know what I mean, but I will elaborate anyway in hopes that I will feel better when I get it off my chest. OK, yesterday was the first day of school. That itself has me out of sorts. My daughter started middle school, ugh, and my oldest son third grade. They are in different schools. She has to be at school at 7:30 am, and he has to be there at 8:45 am. At 12:30 I had to take my hubby to the airport, and I will pick him up again Friday night. (He is in Texas enjoying the tropical storm.) So at 1:30 pm, I had dropped 3 of my loved ones off at different locations, and explained to my 3 year old at least 30 times why daddy would not be “right back.” I was going by the middle school, which by the way, our house is a mere 3 miles from, and on the same road, but they are widening the road and it is closed right before the school, so we have to enjoy a detour four times a day. I digress…anyway, driving by and thinking it’s almost time to pick her up. Do I really want to detour to get home for 30 minutes, and detour back? We opted to sit in the parking lot and watch the newest installment of Veggietales. The chill time was needed by both of us. My daughter had a great day in middle school, and I hope she continues to enjoy it. Third grade was “good” for Zach too. It’s funny, Brooke told me every little incident about her day, and Zach says “good” and that’s all I get. I tried asking him questions, and he was a good sport for a few of them, and then he grew tired of it. We came home, and then ran Brooke to dance, ran to McD’s for the boys, home to eat, back to dance to video tape choreography, back home, back to dance to video and pick Brooke up, back home and finally to bed. We started over again this morning, but I did have a wonderful friend take Zach to school. He had hesitations at first, but he doesn’t really like change. He informed me when I picked him up that he wanted to ride with Andrew all the time. I don’t feel like super mom, and I don’t feel the love right now!

I am such a home body, and I cherish the time that we have together with nowhere we need to go. Tonight was one of those nights. I was so excited, and ready to snuggle up with the kiddos and read, watch TV, and have fun. I’ll start with the disclaimer that those were pretty wide hopes for 3 tired kiddos. The boys had pent up energy and were wrestling around. Both ended up in tears and I was ready to pull my hair out. Brooke was whining, she wants a laptop for Christmas, but she wants it now…she doesn’t want to eat leftovers…she wants a computer for her room and she will be happy…whine..whine..whine.. The boys have one of those nerf dart guns, and Zach thought he would shoot Brooke, and she would stop annoying him. Then Matthew took the gun from Zach, and he was going to shoot her while Zach held her. Brooke pushed Zach away, he ran over to her and punched her, hard, and started to scream at her as he ran away. It was at this point, 7:45 pm, that I had reached my limit. I asked Zach to go to bed, as he had been warned already. He is immediately repentant and refuses to go upstairs until Brooke has to as well. Brooke goes, but I spend the next 45 minutes asking Zach to please stop talking and go to bed. He just wanted to talk…He was sorry..I am a dumbo…he’s gonna get Brooke, it’s all her fault.. I start taking privileges away..he tells me to shut up..this is not going well..he takes his glasses off and throws them to the floor..they are hubby calls me back and I don’t want to immediately go off on him so I ask how the meetings are going. No real answer, and I am trying not to complain that he was supposed to call me around lunch time and didn’t, when he tells me his phone is about to die. And it does…

That is the day I am having. I know some of you can relate, and I sypathize with you. I am feeling your pain right now.
I pray for all the moms out there, Lord, I just ask that you bless us with your favor, and fill us with the Holy Spirit. Forgive our sins and help us to start clean with You every day. Our mercies are new with You every morning, and I am so thankful. You give me strength when I am weak, refresh me when I am tired. Please help me to use the opportunities that You give me, so that I grow in You, and teach those around me as well. Help me to lead my children into Your light, and train them in Your ways. Thank You for the peace given to me.

Addendum to previous

This is a continuation to my last post on By His Wounds. Apparently my listening skills are being honed in well, because one of my devotions yesterday was on this exact verse from Isaiah 53:5. “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” In total understanding now that this message is directed clearly at me by my Savior, I delved a little deeper.

Why is He sending me this verse, and how can I apply it to my life? After thinking and praying about it, I discovered that I often times feel so unworthy of His love and sacrifice. I feel unworthy of His great sacrifice for little old me, not that I am a criminal or anything like that, but I do sin. I fall short daily and allow fear in, harbor resentment, am quick to anger at times, unable to control my tongue and speak gossip, turn to food as a source of comfort, fall prey to judgement. Even now, I want you to understand where I am coming from, agree with me, accept me for who I am, an unworthy sinner. But I know that doesn’t come from you, because we all struggle with things and issues daily. We are human, and satan is trying his hardest to help us fail. We are all unworthy, and Jesus knew that when he was beaten and tortured. He knew that when He was made to carry His cross. He knew it when He was dying and said it is finished. He knew it, but He came, He died, and He rose again for us anyway!! Jesus loves every one of us. No one is beyond His redemption, healing, salvation and grace. He wants us to experience the depth of God’s love through His nail scarred hands. Those same hands that comfort me when I am weak, they comfort you too. They comfort people in prison for heinous crimes, and they provide healing to drug addicts in their pain. I guess I am learning that we are all unworthy, but He loves us all the same. He deemed me worthy long before He put me here on this earth.
He was pierced for my transgressions, He was crushed for my iniquities. The punishment that brought me peace was upon Him, and by His wounds, I am healed. Thank You Jesus, my Savior!

By His Wounds

My 3 year old son awoke again at around 3:30 am, crawled into bed and said he just wanted to snuggle for a minute. Many thoughts run through my head at once….I am so tired…He is sooo sweet…I’ll never fall back to sleep…What a precious time this is, and how my window of opportunity shrinks the older he gets. So, as I move over and he crawls in beside me, the only thing I can think of is THANK YOU JESUS! I start to pray, and recite all the things I have to be thankful for, and this song popped into my head. Written by Mac Powell, it is called By His Wounds.

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace
Was upon Him
And by His wounds
By His wounds, we are healed.

We are healed by your sacrifice
And the life that You gave
We are healed for You paid the price
By Your grace, we are saved
We are Saved

What can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus!

Now because it is the middle of the night, and not too much can cloud my head, I think I was better able to listen to Jesus and what He was trying to tell me. I say that because sometimes in my prayer time, I talk and don’t stop to listen. I have too much to do, excuses! Anyway, He put this on my heart, and here I am at 4:30 a.m. telling you about it.

Take the time to listen for Him to speak. We are healed, we are saved, we are washed white as snow because of His sacrifice.